• Claire

5 Foolproof Ways to Include Family + Friends into Wedding Planning

... without losing your mind.

Here’s something you probably already knew: wedding planning isn’t easy. I know, duh, but honestly sometimes it is glamorized and made to look like rainbows and unicorns all day. (Collective HA HA) It can be challenging to choose vendors, stay in your budget, make a seating chart, and all those other not-so-fun wedding things! 

Another aspect to wedding planning that can either be a curse or a blessing is your family helping plan. Here’s the bottom line: They LOVE YOU SO MUCH! It is so kind and thoughtful that a family member or close friend wants support + help you make your big day possible! But, it can get confusing with so many voices and opinions collaborating to bring your wedding together. 

Makes you sometimes want to step back and be like …. WUT is even happening? 

Photography: Heather Shane Photography

It may surprise you (I kid, I kid) but, this isn’t our first rodeo. The truth is it takes a village to make your wedding happen! We need your family + we want them to be part of this day. The truth is that all humans do best when given CLARITY + CLEAR instructions! Like, what do they need to do? When do they need to be done with it? What are your expectations? 

Photography: McKenna Mansfield Photography

We have 5 simple + versatile ideas for you to incorporate those family members (or even friends- chosen family!)  into the wedding: 

Idea #1: Give a specific task + role. 

- If you really trust this friend/family member and know you can count on them to help, give them an achievable task. That could look like:

  1.  Picking up the cake, giving vendors tips at the end of the night, welcoming guests as they arrive, and so many more options.

 This is all up to you, but just make sure the task is simple and fairly easy so there are no hiccups!

Idea #2: Allow them to pitch in financially. 

This one isn’t for everyone  + we get that. If a family member really wants to help but it just seems that everything is truly taken care of, maybe you can ask them to pitch in financially in an area. This could be any amount and, of course, only ask if you feel comfortable! 

Photo: Hannah Beth Photography

Idea #3: Invite your friends to take on a larger role. 

This tip is for that friend/family member that wants to donate their service to you. If you have somebody who wants to help and is a baker, you could ask them to bake cookies for dessert! Or, if your friend is a super talented florist, maybe they could create table arrangements and bouquets.

The disclaimer with this: If they are NOT familiar with the wedding world, it can be a recipe for disaster. We do not recommend having exclusively friend or family vendors + if you do, be SURE to make it clear the expectation + what you want. You want this to be a joyful gift you accept + not something or someone you end up resenting. (It happens, it really does.) If your friend says she’s always wanted to be a florist and is planning on buying your flowers from Trader Joes … reconsider. But, if your friend is an actual, professional florist + they want to do your flowers, that’s a safe bet.  

Photo: Dillon Phommasa Photography

Idea #4 : Invite them to do favors! 

The truth is that favors often hits the back burner when planning gets crazy. This is where your creative friend comes in - you can ask this person to help you with the favors. Whatever your favors may be, your friend could bring them to the wedding and maybe set them up, or drop them off at your house, or place them on a designated table at the wedding. There are so many fun options and routes that could be taken with the favors!

Idea #5: Invite them to host a rehearsal dinner or bridal shower. 

An idea for the hostess with the mostess! Ask your family member who is dying to help you out to host the rehearsal dinner or bridal shower! This is a win win because you get less on your plate and they get to have the joy of helping you out with your wedding. 

These are just a few of the infinite ideas, but the goal is to have your friends and family alleviate stress by helping you out on wedding day! It really is so generous and special when somebody offers to help in any way, big or small. Giving them any of the tasks mentioned above is a perfect way to help everyone feel included in the wedding!

All the love + grit and grace,


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