Why I'm not "busy"
Updated: Oct 14, 2020
This is something I wasn’t sure I’d ever share with you.
Why? I have a few reasons we’ll get to later.
Last year, for a total of 7 months, I had two additional full-time, demanding jobs. Yup. You are not seeing things or reading things wrong. I had 2 additional jobs while running a successful wedding planning business and full calendar.
May 2019 - August 2019 - JOB 1
August 2019 - December 2019 - JOB 2
I am not going to spend time telling you actual numbers of hours worked, activities missed, or late nights because you can do math in your head and assume whatever you see fit. Numbers are the quickest way to compare between one another. I am not interested in participating in that conversation!
PLZ NOTE: These are all photos thatI took during that time. Note that they are 90% coffee photos. Because that liquid gold brought me LIFE. Also, note, that this is when the Cold Brew originated on the daily. There is zero coincidence here.
Here’s what I need you to know:
1. BOTH of those jobs were absolute “HECK YES!” jobs. I mean, when I sat down to weigh the pro’s and con’s (because that is the kind of human I am), the pro’s was like the length of a marathon and the con’s was like, .2 miles long.
2. BOTH jobs lined up with some of my deepest passions and values. They were jobs that I knew I wouldn’t get many opportunities (or any!) to say YES to.
3. BOTH jobs were to some degree of a dream job. The other thing is that the second of my two full-time jobs was the fulfillment of a long, winding, demanding, yet fulfilling road that I had committed to and needed to see to the finish.
So, to say I was dang thoughtful about my response to accepting or declining these jobs. I can confidently say that I am so grateful I got to be in those roles, learn new things, grow immensely and a whole lot more.
What I’m here to tell you is the ONE thing I learned from that season that I will carry with me for many months (and probably years) to come.
The busy, hustle life is not what it seems.
We live in an age where our response to asking how YOU, as a human being, are doing is to say
- I am busy, work is crazy.
Sister, you are MORE than your work. You are more than a packed schedule. You are more that the few hours of sleep that you boast about. (This girl, typing this right here, needs a solid 9 - 10 to thrive, so don't even anticipate catching me talking about 4 -5 hours of sleep. Cause, I'll be napping in the corner if that's the case.) You are more than whether or not your calendar is filled to the brim or collecting cobwebs. Your value is not determined by those things in the SLIGHTEST.
Your value is innate, purposeful, unwavering and best of all, not affected by what you do. It’s purely based on WHO YOU ARE - and, that’s easy, because all you have to be is YOU!
And the truth is? The working-moving-creating-at-the-breakneck-speed busy life is not the way it’s supposed to be.
We were created to work, created to create, created to live in your purpose. We were not created to work on a hamster wheel. We were not created to boast in our pride of a filled Google calendar. I’ve lived that life. The work-work-work life. The “How-My-Business-Is-Doing-Is-How-I-Am-Doing” life. I’ve lived the, “Oh, I’m fine. Just SO tired because I’m SO busy.”
Can I tell you something? That is an empty path to go down.
Because all it leads to is MORE work, more time away from people you love, always searching for more. The satisfaction that you yearn for won’t even be enough. Once you hit the goal, you’re doing to set another one. That’s not a way to live, sister. You should be THRIVING, not just surviving. You weren’t created to just survive. You were created with a purpose, you were created to pursue your curiosity, you were not created to live a life confined to the Google Calendar notifications that fill your days and are failing to fill the sense of validation you’re longing for.
So, why was I not sure I would ever tell you this?
Because I hate the word busy.
I really do. (I don’t hate many things at all so, when I say it I MEAN IT 120%.) When we say, “I’m so busy!” we are boasting in our inability to be available to people, even just to be present and love on them. When we’re fixated on the goal of being busy, we miss the moments of the mundane beauty that make up so much of the goodness of life. The sunsetting. Sitting with your coffee a few extra moments to just breathe. The way the wind blows on your face as you walk. The way the flowers on your corner bloom. The sound of joyful conversations next to you. The opening of a new, fresh book, with words unread and potential untapped.
We were not created to be idle creatures, don’t hear me wrong on this. I’m not asking you to sit on your couch all day or pursue apathy as your full-time job, without goals or dreams.
Nope. Not at all.
What I am encouraging you to do is to realize that busyness is not mutually exclusive with success.
Busyness does not mean strategy. Busyness does not mean growth. Busyness does not mean gain. (I.E. I am busy... creeping on all the cool moms on Instagram. Fun but, not productive.) Busyness is elusive and doesn’t really or actually have a tangible end goal. (Which means the goal just keeps moving farther and father back.)
So, why am I not busy?
Because I am not about to contribute to an ego-inflating conversation about how busy we are. My value does not lie in whether or not my calendar or days are filled to the brim. My success doesn't come that way either. (Psssstt.. And neither does yours.)
My measure of success looks a lot more like - Did I connect and love the people I was in community with today well? Did I show up for our couples? Did I provide resources and content for people to make their lives easier? Did I leave the world a better place (even in a small way!) than I found it?
Out of that intention and out of a desire to SHOW UP AND BE KIND (as we say around here!) our calendar gets full. Our days include moments of connection, creating and curiosity. Curiosity leads to questions -- What do you want you wedding day to feel like? What is MOST important to you? What do you care ZERO percent about for your wedding? + this moves into designing and creating.
When the focus is not on the busy and it’s on the PEOPLE, it’s revolutionary.
So, I encourage you to pause. Consider this - WHY am I pursuing busyness at the breakneck speed that (the ever elusive, nameless, shapeless) they is telling me I need to be at?
I am with you. I am for you. I believe in you. You are more than what you do. More than your revenue numbers. More than your goals. You are valued as you are. Nothing and nobody can change that.
Lots of hugs, grit and grace - always,